This Stuff Keeps Me Awake...

The litany of what has happened in  my lousy life continues to haunt me, this after so many years of it spinning through my head 24/7.
It started in Nevada, and just grew larger and larger as it became so clear to me that my long-awaited retirement was ruined and that the rest of my life was destroyed.  The last few years working those 12-hour days were so very, very hard on me; physically and mentally. 
Knowing that there was so little to look forward to after 50+ years of working just made it so hard to keep my mouth shut (I don't get in trouble when I keep my mouth shut), and to realize, again and again, constantly, that I had been betrayed beyond belief.
 I deserve so much better, and so does Tammy.  We were both shafted; she is much more accepting of it than I have been able to accomplish.
As I've said before, the whole plan to retire rested on a single seminal event: the sale of the house in Mead.  It would have yielded enough to put the plan into action.  In my estimation, we would have had at least $150,000 to put to work. 
Since the only thing we have known for investments is silver, that is where the money would have gone; silver was, at that time, selling at $7 per ounce.
After buying that, we would have had 21,478 ounces of silver, and could have held it until such time that we wanted to sell it.  When would that be?  Well, that's an open question, of course, but at the time there was lots of talk from Nokia, Samsung, LG, Vizio, RCA, who were in the markets developing something called HDTV, High Density Television, a very big deal.
Then, there was this other company called Apple; they weren't into TV sets, but did have lots of ideas about things like Ipads, Ipods, Minis, and something revolutionary called a Smartphone.
What do all these companies have in common, you ask?  Well, they all need the mineral called SILVER!  Apple, itself, makes Smartphones at a hectic pace, and all the other companies decided to jump on the bandwagon.
As could be seen by anyone who wanted to look, the price of silver HAD to increase, and IT DID!
In 2011, the price bumped $50 per ounce as companies scrambled to catch Apple's accomplishments, and they still haven't really caught up, not even to this day.
Even if the amount we had were to have been sold for only $48, our $150,000 stake would have gone to $1,025,871, reasonable amount warranted by closely watching and simply reading with a purpose.
There would have been much more that the $150K, as my earnings were much greater than they had been while living in Washington; but, that's another story, which will become evident as this unfolds.
To this figure a few lines above, one should add about $200,000, an understated figure representing the amount of retirement money burned through by her son and his fat assed girlfriend/fat assed wife over the course of the last ten years.  That's what has become evident as this unfolds.
Then, continuing the exercise, add to the $1,025,871 the $200,000, bringing the total to a whopping $1,225,871.
Going further, combining that figure with $245,000,  which happens to be the approximate amount to be found today in the singe Fidelity account, the total we should have today is $1,470,871.
Nearly a million and a half dollars; money in such an amount that she could have moved back to Mead if she wanted to.  She could have bought any house she wanted here, and the best part is that she would still be a millionaire!
As an added bonus, she wouldn't have had to go back to work, (I presume she would want to spend time with me, like I worked so hard for?), and we could have gone and done whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted to.
In addition, she could be spending a good amount of her time bonding with her son's baby instead of leaving that task she would have enjoyed to fat asses mother and grandmother.
The end result, and it is somewhat apparent right now, is that the kid is bonding to the other two and has no idea who Tammy is!
He aced his own mother out of time with the baby!
After all the time, money, effort and love she gave him so unselfishly over the course of his life.
Another one of the things that really chaps my ass is the sale of MY CAR, a car I liked and enjoyed, a Mercedes.  He sold it while we were living in Nevada for $2700, and put the money from the sale into his own bank account; Tammy said that he would be putting it into our account later.  Well, long story short: he took the money and ran.  I watched our bank account for over a year, and the money never arrived.
Another screw job.
This account is why I merely tolerate the two of them; for Tammy's benefit and for no one else's.
If I never saw either of them again, I wouldn't care.  In fact, I would prefer it.

You may ask, "Where did all the money go?" 
Well, of course, it went to pay all their expenses while they banked all that they were making!
According to Tammy, all they paid for over seven years was 'gas and food'.  WOW!  I'd love to spend someone else's money for seven years!  Except that I couldn't bring myself to do it.
So, where did the $$$ go?
Let's count the ways:

Picture, if you will, dirt.
A building lot.
A "For Sale" sign on the dirt.
Next, picture a custom-built house, done to your specifications.  It has a 3-car garage and seamless gutters, too.
Now, imagine a state of the art $prinkler system; now add some fill dirt; now add $od at $0.21 per foot.
A nice touch would be to increase a concrete patio by about 400%, and a concrete pod in the corner of the back yard holding a factory built yard and garden $hed, not one partially built from used lumber purloined from a construction site during the winter.
Now, put a nice cedar fence around the whole property and stain it, too.  Then, add landscaping with beauty bark and shrubs and bushes.
Consider firearms:  "If you want a pistol, take the money out of savings; there's plenty of money in savings".  "Do you want a shot gun, well, you know where the savings are".  "If you think we need an AR-15, just take the money out of savings".
Of course, he 'needed' a new pickup, too.  Had to be a Ford.  Now, we're not talking about an F-150 like everyone else drives; oh, no!  His had to be a Ford Lariat model; had to have four wheel drive, all leather interior, lumbar supports and heated seats.  Wouldn't want his ass getting cold!
Let's not forget another big purchase:  They get CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING!!!   We can't afford it, because he fucked us over, but he can because they were, and continue to be, on welfare.
Following that, the little bastard had the balls to drive into my neighborhood, down my street, park blocking my drive way  in front of my house to rub our noses in a $35,000 classic sports car!  His cow says, "If he hadn't bought it, I was going to take the money out of savings and get it for him, because I knew how much he wanted it".  The ol' savings thing again.  How fucking nice!
A few weeks later, Tammy called and asked if they wanted to go to lunch, a frequent thing she does.  (Did I mention, he NEVER picks up a check?)
 Well, they couldn't go because 'they have a guy'.  Yeah, a guy who is coming over to give them a bid on remodeling their basement with a few rooms and a movie theater!
It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?
Yes, still.
In ten years, he hasn't paid even 1/2 the rent of the post office box he insists on using, hasn't paid a nickel on his  cell phone bill, even though he uses his (including texting) ten times more than the rest of us combined.  None of the rest of us have texting, because it's too expensive.
But, the worse goddamn thing is learning a few years ago that the Chase account into which my paltry Social Security check is deposited has been hit for several thousand dollars to pay student loans that, of course, we don't owe.  Several years ago, we got fined, back taxed and penaltied by the IRS for paying them and claiming the interest we had paid on our tax return.  We agreed then that we would stop paying them.  Think of the thousands and thousands of dollars that have been wasted over the years for debts that don't belong to us.
When I wanted to retire at 65, Tammy insisted that I work until 66, because we needed the extra $150 per month.  So, I worked another 15 months, even though it nearly killed me.  Now, the amount of the student loans just happens to be $150/month.